I fixed the sentence.
In English adjuncts of time usually follow adjuncts of place. It often sounds very unnatural the other way around. (As was the case here)
Or as my high school English teacher explained it, the usual sentence order in English is "who does what where when".
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This sentence is original and was not derived from translation.
added by Guybrush88, November 25, 2012
linked by Guybrush88, November 25, 2012
linked by Guybrush88, November 25, 2012
linked by Guybrush88, November 25, 2012
linked by Guybrush88, November 25, 2012
linked by sabretou, August 11, 2013
edited by Raizin, February 8, 2016
linked by Pfirsichbaeumchen, May 21, 2021
linked by Selena777, June 11, 2021