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This is a little confusingly worded to me (as is the original) in that the two 'her's in used in close proximity refer to two different people.
What the real situation is is
A -> mother of -> B
A, the mother of B, admires her daughter, B
But it could be interpreted as
A -> mother of -> B -> mother of -> C
B's mother, A, admired B's daughter, C
Maybe a comma after "daughter" would help?
I think it needs something a little more drastic than that. Here are a couple of options to consider:
Her mother admired her daughter who looked lovely that evening.
She admired her daughter, who looked lovely that evening.
Pro: Not confusing ('she' and 'her' are talking about the same person).
Con: A little further from the Japanese.
Her mother admired her, her own daughter, who looked lovely that evening.
Pro: Close to the Japanese.
Con: Still potentially confusing (although less so IMO).
I suppose I could do, although if it was originally a J->E translation then that's equivalent to admitting defeat. ;-)
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Her mother admired her daughter who looked lovely tonight.
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Her mother admired her daughter who looked lovely that evening.
edited by CK, May 28, 2010
She admired her daughter, who looked lovely that evening.
edited by blay_paul, May 28, 2010
linked by une_monica, July 2, 2011
linked by ismael_avila, February 19, 2012
