ok
Now possibly ok.
Punctuation could be improved:
The girl was carrying several books. Not textbooks, but thick hardback books.
No, not a proper sentence (if you ask English teachers), but currently it's more of a run-on sentence.
The first comma is wrong. It needs to be something stronger: a full stop, a semicolon, or an em dash.
This sentence makes me wonder. Are textbooks usually not hardback?
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edited by Shiawase, May 31, 2011
edited by Shiawase, May 31, 2011
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