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Sentence #6162162

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Comments

 maaster maaster July 19, 2017 July 19, 2017 at 8:40:55 PM UTC flag Report link Permalink

@NNC

raggione raggione July 20, 2017 July 20, 2017 at 8:45:50 AM UTC flag Report link Permalink

grammatisch unkorrekt: ihn - muss zu ihm verwandelt werden

Sonst eher eine Stellungsfrage. Meine Empfehlung: ... fing Tom an, seine Idee, mit Kunstpausen eingelegt, darzulegen, ...

Stilistisch unschön ist die Wiederholung von „legen“ (eingelegt / darzulegen). „eingelegt“ erinnert auch an eingelegte Heringe. (Smile)

Vielleicht dann so: , ... fing Tom an, seine Idee mit eingeschobenen Kunstpausen darzulegen, während.

Es geht auch: ..., begann Tom seine Idee ... (vielleicht vorzuziehen)

(DD - mache ab morgen eine Woche Urlaub und bin incommunicado.)

maaster maaster July 21, 2017 July 21, 2017 at 3:06:53 AM UTC flag Report link Permalink

genommen, danke

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License: CC BY 2.0 FR

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This sentence was initially added as a translation of sentence #6160232- Egy pillanat, fiúk! Mi lenne, ha... ha mi... - belekezdett a gondolata kifejtésébe Tamás hatásszünetekkel megspékelve, míg a többiek lélegzetvisszafojtva hallgatták őt..

„Augenblick mal, Jungs! Wie wär's, wenn ... wenn wir ...“, fing Tom seine Idee mit Kunstpausen eingelegt darzulegen an, während die anderen ihn atemlos lauschten.

added by maaster, July 19, 2017
➜ #6160232- Egy pillanat, fiúk! Mi lenne, ha... ha mi... - belekezdett a gondolata kifejtésébe Tamás hatásszünetekkel megspékelve, míg a többiek lélegzetvisszafojtva hallgatták őt.

linked by maaster, July 19, 2017
„Augenblick mal, Jungs! Wie wär's, wenn ... wenn wir ...“, begann Tom seine Idee mit eingeschobenen Kunstpausen darzulegen, während die anderen ihm atemlos lauschten.

edited by maaster, July 21, 2017